Alternative Scene
by LM Simpson
Summary: ONESHOT According to two preteen girls, an alternative scene has been created for Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. What's in it? Read and find out!


**Alternative Scene**

A fan fiction by Kate-chan 91

Disclaimer: I only own this odd parody and my original characters Mika and Jennifer. Hence, I do not own the actual Harry Potter.

Kate-chan 91's tidbits (A/N): This is my very first Harry Potter fanfiction. Be aware that I will only accept flames as long as they are CONSTRUCTIVE. I was originally going to quote part of page 316 of "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets", but since most likely won't allow you to do that, so just bear with me.

This was originally a joke I came up with to help my best friend get over her fear of the basilisk (hence the out of character ness in this).Fortunately,she laughed her ass off when she read it, so let's see if y'all like the written version of it (this fanfic was originally a comic).

Try to enjoy!

(BTW, I've finally managed to edit all those stupid words being mashed together, so now I don't look like an idiot! HOORAY! (Seriously, I have no idea how that happened since I've never done it to that degree before))

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"Welcome to Rumor Report-"

"-Where we have been violating your privacy since 1998!"

"I'm Jennifer Tina Cooler-"

"-And I'm Mikan "Mika" Steel!"

The two girls then adjusted their office seats and started reading from their loose leaf sheets of paper; Mika, the girl with the odd hairdo, was the first to speak. "We have manyrumors to talk to you about today including where all the missing animals in the zoo have gone, so let's get going!"

Jennifer, or Jenny as she was more commonly known, said, "Our cover "story" today is about a supposed alternative scene in "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets."As you may know, this book is being sold like hotcakes all over the globe. It's also recieving loads of raves... except for a specific group of readers that happen to NOT be concerned parents or humble church-going Christians."

"As it turns out," Mika followed, "Quite a few fans have complained that they did not like the way the basilisk and Tom Riddle were finished off. Because of this, J.K. Rowling has written a special alternative scene just for those readers. It has since then been published and released on the internet for those readers."

Jenny then picked up a folder and opened it; it contained a few pieces of computer paper. She then proceeded ingiving her best friend and co-anchor the pages and said, "Mika will now read you the alternative scene."

Mika cleared her throat. "Okay... copyrighted, not allowed to say on air, some crappy ad... AH-HA

_"Harry did not answer. He silently became angrier and angrier as Riddle ridiculed Fawkes and the sorting hat. Suddenly, he snapped. Running blindly towards the enourmous snake, he striked. _

_"LIKE HELL YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME, BASTARD!" Harry screamed as he did the impossible by jumping high into the air and giving the basilisk a fatal kick.The fresh corpsecollasped onto the cold stone floor. In a gory scene of carnage, Harry pulled out a fang out of its jaws with his bare hands; he then proceeded with quickly snatching and stabbing Riddle's journal with the large fang."_

"Boy, did we do some really crappy writ- Oh, yeah- Either way, the ending of the story was virtually the same. You may be wondering one thing though: What was the reader's reactions to the alternative scene?" Jenny asked to the audience of their makeshift, low budget show.

"The answer is," Mika said, "That, well, let's just say that Rowling has promised her loyal fans that she will not write or release another alternative scene for a LONG time..."

THE END

A/N: Did you like it? It's pretty much the same thing; the only difference is that in the original comic version,Jenny and Mika were not "reporting" about an alternative scene. While Jenny and Mika have been my existing original characters since September 21, 2001, they would actually be eight-years-old in this story as they are eleven (the same age I was when I made them preteens in 2002)! Either way, I hoped you enjoyed it and please review before you go.

Ja Ne!

Kate-chan 91


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